20060930
cosiloveyou
I'll tell you flat out
It hurts so much to think of this
So from my thoughts I will exclude
The very thing that
I hate more than everything is
The way I'm powerless
To dictate my own moods
I've thrown away
So many things that couldn't been much more
And I just pray
My problems go away if they're ignored
But that's not the way it works
No that's not the way it works
; 15:29
20060928
onlineshoppingisfriggin'evil.EVIL
first things first!! i really miss you! ): could summer'07 come any slower?!
oh and i think noone's been tagging cos i think they duno wat to say bout the emo-ness and mopey posts, ahh, not the point! but cant be bothered to blog either, cos first of all, its the holidays! for me anyways.. haha. its boring and im lazy. so yeah, like i said holidays! haha and also well, nothing interestings been going on.
and since ive been staying home, i usually browse and online shop. and its a BAD EVIL HABIT, a bad evil habit that im trying to break. despite the risks and all that, holyshit man, fucking screwed la. if i continue spending my money like that, looks like i really wont get i want come year end next yr! ok beks, its a bloody wake up call, time to fucking stop!!!!!!
so ive been out these few days to collect my stash! haha the stuff i bought online, so far everything fits. well, almost everything. stupid shorts. grr, looks like i have to go alter it. sigh. waste my timee. next time, gtta consider really carefully, but the a&f top i gt tdy fits nicee. haha yayyay!! maybe ill get moree? hoho crap. so much for the wake up call -.-
oh! and went movie-ing, sushi-ing and shopping(but i din get anything cos im on a strict budget, *Ahem im trying la, sseee! hahaa) with yvonne and chrystal on tuesday, yay! havent really gon shopping in town since, since a long time back. so had a nice good time! we walked like frm 1-6+? after feeling totally fat from all that raw fish, the walking helped! haha almost died la walking all that whilee! haha but had fun! and now i wanna buy everything. haha shit.
so anyways, like i said, nothing muchs been going on. and also i think its time to study! ahhhhhhhhhhh, or not? dang. im so friggin lazy. ohey, jobs anyonee?
; 21:23
20060925
themopeypost
i think rainy holiday monday mornings make me mopey(woahoh, a whole buncha ms haha). im just thinking, like how ur beginning to become my
snuffaluffagus, and i get sad.
with clocks, watch the time go...
till spring, when the sun can finally be free...
we'll scream at night, to make it go away...
so put me on a plane, and fly me to anywhere...with you...
; 10:51
20060924
wouldyouregret?
isnt it funny? how we let things slip? and how we underappreciate people all the time. while they were there, right beside us. and while at some point you hated that person for some reason or another and actually said it out loud, most of us look back and regret. and often, we cant take it back, till its too late or not at all. so isn't it funny how people don't think or wonder about it even tho it has been said a million times over? because the way i see it, time is of the essence, and we gotta hold on to whatevers in front of us, right now, with both hands. cos before you know it, the moment passes you by and has gone.
so never look back. cos trust me, you won't want to.
; 20:25
20060923
ifonly
if only i could be there
right by your side
walking with you
hand in hand
and the people stare in envy
but i guess it's too late
cos you're gone
in a world away
but i'm hoping to see you again
you standing there right in front of me
with that smile
that melts my heart away.
; 16:42
20060922
theendlesschase
ok, so i have to sell some of my stuff online before i go really broke, i spent at least 100 bucks alr this week. die la, and im sposed to be saving!!!!! ssomeone slap me please.. ))))))): and im trying real hard not to ok. but i think im seriously cursed. hence, the looking for a job bit. but i dont wanna job whered id have to commit like crazy, cos cmon, school comes first right? hahahah (AS IF!) but i know thts just dumb. like no such thing. but i can commit la, if its tuition once a week. HAHAHA and id rather be teaching tuition than mopping arnd some shopp trying to sell stufffff pls, ugh. so anywyas, i really need a job
and so, i want a job which is not totally retarded. where i wont' have to do the same shit over and over again. alas, most jobs are like tht. but ok, wishful thinking on my part, but these are my requirements:
1. good pay
2. good pay
3. short working hours, preferrably 4-5 hrs a day and not everyday of the week (that is not on the days where id hafta go school)
4. sth not totally retarded and brainless and cheap, like selling stuff/mopping floor/escort work. haha
5. good pay
ok so if anyone knows of any jobs tht makes 3/5 of the cut i happy already (:
im so not kidding
ps: i miss u bugging me everyday ); so according to mr. count down thingy, just 285days to go give or take afew, but id rather take
; 22:27
20060921
blogthis
ugh, ok, haven't been blogging(properly!) cos schoool was having a bitchfit. and the TESTS! ARGH! okok, fine. test. BUT ITS STATS!! try squeezing 500++ slides into your haven't-sat-for-any-test-in-10-months brain ): it was really sad, me trying to study. it wwas like little duckies trying to fly, my head really hurt this morn. but chillling and stoning around with carm sure made things tonnes better! haha so we were snooping through people's blogs(*ahem, kinda pro at that) haha but i found sth interesting! frm carms blog! haha
so watcha gtta do is to list up to ten things you want to say to ten different people in no particular order.
do not state who these people are. cos den, hello, whats the point right?
so here goes..
1. seriously, shut up!
2. i dont understand the things you do.. and by not knowing urself, you've hurt one of the bestest persons in the world. leave if thats what you want and just stop. don't even try to take it back.
3. sushi buffet like next week?
4. oei! send me my fucking shorts! its been a goddamn week! grr.. efficient my ass.
5. heyyou! you're stronger than you know :p and you'll pull through! im sure of it. in the meanwhilee, make the right kindsa choices that you won't regret.
6. things aren't always as they seem, there's so much that you don't know.
7. why is it that you never call? even if its just to say hello.
8. i guess we've drifted, but we're making amends. and ultimately, its knowing that we can make things right again that counts! let's go party! haha
9. argh! i wanna go there, and i wanna go now! ):
10. i am so not mean!!
so i cheated. so what. its not like i wanna say lotsa stuff to many people. so go figure, my lips are sealed. haha and if you think something mean was directed at you and get offended, you can ask me bout it i guess.. but i proly wont tell you anyways. haha
; 17:41
20060919
the4letterword
I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive me mad. I hate it when you stare. I hate your big dumb puppy eyes, and the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme. I hate it, I hate the way you're always right. I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry. I hate it that you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call.
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.
; 00:11
20060918
thesamedeepwaterasyou
it's been a so-so-to-shitty week. but den again, im not exactly surprised, the way things have been going this year, hoho. ytd was fun tho. now,
that was a surprise.
secrets. one thing is certain, whatever it is we're trying to hide; we're never ready for that moment when the truth gets naked. that's the problem with secrets -- like misery, they love company. they pile up and up until they take over everything, until you don't have room for anything else, until you're so full of secrets you feel like you're going to burst.
the thing people forget is how good it can feel when you finally set secrets free. whether good or bad, at least they're out in the open, like it or not. and once your secrets are out in the open, you don't have to hide behind them anymore. the problem with secrets is even when you think you're in control, you're not
; 10:42
20060915
6degrees
its been said that any one person in the world is connected to another by only 6(or less) degree(s) of seperation. 6 billion souls. yet, people seem to be more distant than ever before. but heres the silver lining. because out of that 6 billion hearts waiting to be caught, isn't it funny how even through the distance and loneliness, people manage to find that ONE person, the best friend, soulmate or whatever you call it, that one needle in the haystack of haystacks and actually not wonder how remarkable a feat that is.
; 16:45
20060914
blowwindblow
blow wind blow across the sea
my love's been gone too long
so blow and send a kiss from me
my love for him is strong
I long for when he's home with me
and holds me close and then kisses me
and tells me that I'm the only one
my tears will all be gone
blow wind blow across the sea
and bring him back to me
I hope that he will go no more
but stay here on the shore
; 16:40
20060913
thingsivecometomiss
a hug can tell you all sorts of things without even you opening your mouth. it can mean a simple hello, or a goodbye. i miss you or i love you. but thats when you get really lucky. because most of us dont have that comfort.
i know i dont.
; 10:10
20060912
straightjacketfeeling
what do you do when ur stuck btwn a rock and a hard place? do you try to get out or stay? what happens when you know that something has to be done before its all too late. when you see whats been going on but dont say a word and its eating you up from inside. when will people learn? to say theyre sorry. to appreciate things infront of them and not take others for granted. to stop the threats. to say i love you and mean it. to trust. will feelings and attitudes change as you walk down the path called time? will uncertainty finally be one off you shoulders? when will it all just stop?
you see, there have been major changes, it happens at some point in your life. changes can be hard as hell and sometimes all it does is take away everything you hold close.
met up with the girls last night, something we havent done in dinosaur years, and just really talking and listening to each other. and having that listening ear when you're in a rut helps. im glad that ive the two girls, even though they might not understand 'the why' to somethings.. they're always there. unjudging and accepting(well almost totally unjudging! heh). and giving their thoughts on the matter at hand when needed and intently listening when it comes down to the wire. and that's the most important thing that you could ever have.
life can be a bitch. and sometimes you'll feel like kicking life's ass. but you cant and it sucks. so what do you do?
; 21:32
20060910
theverysmartme
aiyo, the stupidest thing happened yesterday! i ran into a fence ): enough said? actually not quite yet. haha
tennis was really good, cept for the few wildly hit forehands, WOOO its getting much better! and i cant wait to play tmr again! oh and the crashing into the fence bit. buut its the damn court which suckssasssss. like the distance from doubles line to fence is like one and a half meters! grr so obviously looking at the ball right, and running at full speed. den before i knew it..
WHAM!! fucking crashed into the fence. like head/right arm-on collision okays and bounced back pretty good too. SHIT! lucky the buoy wasnt there on the other side of the fence, if not hello big fat bruises on my facee! actually kinda funny when i think back bout it, so feel free to laugh(OR NOT YOU ASSES!! lol) so i sat to rest and thought the damn fence was behind me, hoho so i tried leaning back butbutbuttt it decided to pull a disappearing act and woooopss!! almost fell backwards again! grr the idiots had a good laugh! HAHA i never cursed so much either! HAHA and looked as tho i gt walloped! a few scraps cuts and bruises but ill live! damn ass tired now pls, plus went out aftr tennis to meet the classmates(those who din ps) for dinner and an hr at the mind cafee -.- , 5min daytona and macs till like 1130! and the stupid thing was tht i had ice lemon teaa,like medium k cos i was suffering frm mildcase of heatstroke, headache & fatigue. so drank like a fish! ugh and ended up not sleeping till 5. hahaha how scrwd!
soooo lesson learnt: never ever drink ice lemon tea at ungodly hours at night, and yano, let things go or risk losing grip and running into fences :p
yups! lessons well learnt.
o! and manu won last night! play like a buncha sissy boys still can win! hmm but good thing or bad?? haha but the best part was liverpool lost! LIKE 3-0 hur yay!
; 11:45
20060908
thosethreewords
but as i lay down alone that night and processed all the information of the day, i realised that for the first time in my life, you were the only one i had ever met who had completely understood me after all.
and for anyone who's had that connection with someone, even if it lasted for five minutes, it's important. for once i didn't feel that i was living in a different world from everyone else, but, in fact, there was a person, a person i liked and respected,
who had a piece of my heart, who felt the same way.
you all know exactly how i was feeling that night.
i didn't feel so alone. even better than that, i felt as if i was floating on air.
; 19:58
20060905
grazedknees
One giant leap of faith is easy
When everyone you ask is so sure
Just give a second thought
What if we don't get caught
Just say you love me now
And forget this whole row
Just save your energy
For making up with me
; 12:19
20060904
imatree-hugger!
woooooohooo!! its coming backk! and their adverts nice!
; 14:06
20060903
nothing'sthewayyouthoughitouttobe
its official. im allergic to technology.
my phones retarded. its a goner, went to send the damn thing for repair today. horrible, v3i's rubbish. and the dudes like, oh its an isolated incident. MY ASS! mind you the phones only 3 weeks old please. how freaking screwed is that?!?!!? grrr, i hate it. hate it when things die on me, what a bloody let down, cos i mean you pay quite alot for it and expect things you actually pay for not to spoil fer like another 10394934 years, apparently electronics dont last like they used to. when things were simpler.
or... maybe im just really jinxed. grr, first the webcam now this.. seriously man. 2006, not one of the best years so far.
; 23:53
20060901
ilikethissong
seems like it was yesterday
when i saw your face
you told me how proud you were
but i walked away
if only i knew
what i know today
i would hold you in my arms
i would take the pain away
thank you for all youve done
forgive all your mistakes
theres nothing i wouldnt do
to hear your voice again
sometimes i wanna call you
but i know you wont be there
im sorry
for blaming you
for everything
i just couldnt do
and ive hurt myself
by hurting you
some days i feel broke inside
but i wont admit
sometimes i just wanna hide
cause its you i miss
and its so hard to say goodbye
when it comes to this
would you tell me i was wrong
would you help me understand
are you lookin down upon me
are you proud of who i am
theres nothing i wouldnt do
to just have one more chance
to look into your eyes
and see you lookin back
if i had one more day
i would tell you how much ive missed you since youve been away
its dangerous
its so out of line
to try and turn back time
; 01:16
